Always tell the girl
by LAIsobel
Summary: Set right after 03x03 because come on they just couldn't stop there and leave us hanging. Shippy story full of hurt, love and friendship.
1. Chapter 1

_I am soooo bad. I know. But honestly were you expecting anything else from me? :D So we start exactly where we left them after 3x03. I know the episode was horribly tragic and sad but to me it was also beautiful. And I just need to continue like NOW._

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Andy was standing on the catwalk, watching Sullivan in his office. He put his head into his palms and looked like he was fighting headache or something. She watched him with heavy heart. He promoted Maya... he really did it. It surprised her when he abruptly turned away from his desk and angrily threw a pen against a wall. What was going on?

She felt so exhausted after this day that she could barely walk. But instead of going to bed, here or at home, she found herself walking towards him, to his new office. Of course she was glad he decided to stay at 19 instead of moving to some other Station, there was this part of her that just needed him close she refused to analyze that part but still she didn't know how to function. Her feelings were crushing her. And yet...

She came closer, didn't care about how she looked, he could reprimand her for it but well she just didn't give a damn today anymore. She knocked at the door and he looked up surprised. He got up swiftly without knowing why. He was so surprised to see her there. The feeling of utter guilt that washed over him nearly knocked air out of his lungs.

"You recommended Maya for the promotion." She said, her voice flat, tired. She didn't say sir and she didn't say it as a question. Sullivan knew he should correct her, reprimand her but one look at her and he just knew he would let it all slip. This was more personal than it seemed.

"Yeah, I did." He answered honestly. He was so worried about her as he saw her. He still heard Pruitt in his head telling him she wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, wouldn't allow herself to feel.

"Why? Are you punishing me?" She asked and he could hear the hurt in her voice. He was right, she would never forgive him. He could only hope Pruitt was right.

"You know I'm not."

"So why? Why Maya?" Andy asked again, not understanding.

"She didn't think I would recommend her. She thought it would be you." He tried to explain, not really answering her question directly.

"Yeah, because she thinks you'd do me any favour." Andy answered sadly and if she could cry, she probably would.

"Andy..." He didn't know what to say. He was lost. Sullivan walked around his desk, closer to her. There was a part of him, the part he decided to bury for both their sakes, the part that woke up when Pruitt said that l-word, that wanted to hug her close and never let go.

"I still think you could do it, Andy. But you're going through so much right now that adding more stress to it... I just..." He tried to explain but realized she wasn't really listening.

"It's okay. I understand." She answered even though she didn't. She felt so numb inside that she couldn't go on. She was exhausted. Turning around she wanted to leave his new office but turned back just before stepping out.

"Robert?" She asked. He didn't even have time to respond before she continued. "Thank you, for letting me be here today." She said honestly.

"You needed it." He said.

"I did." Andy answered. "Can I take tomorrow off though?" She asked. He was worried to say both yes and no. He didn't know what was better and what would hurt her more. But she looked like she would sleep through the day.

"Of course." He told her softly. His heart was breaking for her. Damn, Pruitt was right.

"Thank you, Sir." Andy said formally and with a nod she left.

Sullivan just stood there and watched her go. He wasn't sure what made him angrier. That he hurt her? That Pruitt was right? That there was nothing he could do right now to help her? That by promotion Bishop he probably destroyed their friendship beyond repair? Or that he had to fight with himself so he wouldn't follow her and ask her for forgiveness?

All his thoughts were severed when he felt sharp pain in his leg and barely had time to sit down. Yeah, there he had all his answers.

Andy ran into Montgomery when she was about to get changed and leave the Station.

"Hey, Andy, you okay?" He asked her.

"What?" She asked back. She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings.

"Are you going home?" He wanted to know.

"I should, yeah." She said but then realized Maya would be there and that she would have to pass the 'Police line – do not cross' door where she lost her best friend and suddenly didn't feel like going there at all.

"You know what? Come with me, okay?" He just waited for her to grab her bag and they walked outside together. Andy walked with him, got to his car and let him drive her home. Montgomery was getting really worried about her as he watched her. She was... just not there anymore. He drove her to his apartment and brought her inside. She just sat down. He showed her to the spare bedroom he had, well, home office / spare bedroom / gym / whatever was needed room and she just sat down on the bed and after a moment she lied down.

"Get some rest." He said and covered her with the blanket from the bed. Andy closed her eyes and let the warm comforter calm her down. She fell asleep within a minute. Montgomery watched her and with a heavy sigh he left.

He closed the door behind him and took out his phone. He knew he should probably let someone know that Andy was here but didn't know whom. Bishop was ... well just not there for her now. But would she worry when Andy wouldn't get home? He didn't have to decide as his phone rang. It was Gibson.

"Jack?"

"Hey Travis, did you see Andy? Bishop called and said she wasn't home, she's kinda worried."

"Yeah, Andy's with me. She fell asleep just a minute ago." He informed him. "I met her and she looked ... " And he didn't know how to end that sentence.

"I get it, Trav. Thanks."

"No problem."

Sullivan stayed in his office after Andy left and felt like the biggest jerk ever. Did he really do the right thing? He wasn't that sure about it. When Gibson came and asked him if he had seen Andy, he was surprised.

"Yeah, she was here like an hour ago." Sullivan replied.

"I guess you don't know where she could have gone, Sir?" Gibson asked tentatively.

"No. Why?" Sullivan was worried then.

"Bishop called, Andy didn't go home and she's not picking up her phone. She's worried about her." Gibson said and noticed how Sullivan's features changed. Even he could notice that their Captain cared about Herrera just a little too much. But well right now he didn't give a damn. She was going through hell and they all just wanted to help her somehow.

"I'll try calling others and we'll see."

"Keep me in the loop, will you?" Sullivan asked and knew Gibson could very well say no. But he just nodded and said sure. So Sullivan waited and waited, anxious and afraid. Did something happen to her? Then he got a text from Gibson telling him and probably others as well, that Andy was over at Montgomery's. He calmed down a bit.

What had he done? He hated himself and only hoped that Pruitt was right and in the long run this was the right decision. His leg was okay now so he took his things and left the Station. He wanted to go home, he really did, but he couldn't. Too much has happened today and it wasn't over. So he stopped by at grocery store, bought two six-packs of beer and with some new found courage he drove over to a completely different address.

When Pruitt got home that evening, he felt heavy burden on his shoulders and around his heart. His action indirectly caused the death of Ryan Tanner, boy who was like a son to him. And his previous actions were why he and his daughter drifted apart so much. After watching Sullivan today, seeing him react when he asked him if he loved his daughter, he had this distant feeling that maybe he misjudged the situation and his harsh words to his daughter weren't justified. He probably made a huge mistake and hurt her a lot. And now with Tanner's death, he felt guilty and horrible.

He loved his daughter and would do anything for her. Even talk to her Captain behind his back, asking him in the name of love that man felt for her to postpone her promotion, he asked him to hurt her more and to give her time to heal before taking the chance to run her own Station. Was it a good decision or a bad one? He didn't even know if Sullivan would listen to him. He seemed pretty determined to put her name forward to the recommendation. Sitting down on the couch, Pruitt didn't know what to do.

He was disturbed from his dark thoughts when there was a knock on his door. Curious as who might it be he walked there to open.

"Sullivan?" He was surprised to see that man in his civil clothes standing at his doorstep. Sullivan just showed him the beer and waited for Pruitt to decide what to do. With a simple nod Pruitt moved aside and let the man enter.

Sullivan gave him the beer and he took it to the living room and set it down at the table. Sullivan took off his jacket and followed him inside. He wasn't sure about this idea of coming here but being here he felt like it was a good one.

"I needed the beer and didn't want to drink alone and given the circumstances I figured you could use one too." Sullivan said.

"Good thinking." Pruitt replied and they sat down in the living room, each taking a beer and not bothering with glasses, they took a swig right from the bottles.

"Sullivan." Pruitt started as he wanted to ask him about the promotion. Sullivan knew so he just told him.

"I talked to Gibson but he doesn't want it."

"Sounds like someone I know." Pruitt answered and Sullivan smirked. Yeah, he was a lot like Gibson when he was younger.

"So as Dixon asked for a woman to be promoted, I put Bishop in for it."

"Dixon is jerk."

"I hate that guy."

"Yeah, me too."

"Bishop was surprised. She didn't think I would. I didn't think I would."

"But you did."

"Yeah, I followed your advice, Pruitt." Sullivan said and settled for Pruitt instead of Captain Herrera as this conversation had nothing to do with being professionals. No, this was private.

"Thank you." Pruitt replied. Sullivan sighed though.

"I watched her after what you said and you were right. She's so..." He wanted to describe it but didn't have the right words. "How do I help her?" He asked the older man.

"I wish I knew, Robert. Hopefully she just needs time and friends."

Sullivan looked at Pruitt and decided to bite the bullet.

"You said her year would get worse. Why?" He asked. Pruitt thought it might come to that but didn't really think the man would have the guts to ask him. But it seemed like this conversation would be open and honest, brutally raw and with no secrets to keep.

"I've got cancer."

"I thought you were in remission?" Sullivan said, still not understanding.

"It's a different one. And I'm terminal. I have about six months, maybe a year but I'm not that optimistic." Pruitt answered and watched the emotions play on Sullivan's face.

"What?"

"I refused chemo so I'm on meds but that's it."

"Why? Why did you refuse?" He couldn't understand.

"It makes me sicker and the cancer's too spread by now so it wouldn't change anything. I would only go sick and broken and that I don't want." Pruitt explained. Sullivan looked really shaken. He didn't say a word for several minutes.

"That night in the bar."

"Huh?" Pruitt wasn't following.

"That's why you were at Joe's bar that night. You met Warren in the hospital, his wife is your doctor, isn't she?" Sullivan put it all together.

"Yes. We met and she just had the miscarriage so I went with Warren for a beer." Pruitt explained and Sully just nodded. Things started to make sense.

"Jesus, Pruitt." He said and needed a moment to sort it all out in his head. Then one really important fact hit him like a bolt of lightning.

"Does Andy know about this?" He asked the older man and knew immediately the answer.

"Christ. You have to tell her."

"I know but I don't want to. She'll try to push me into chemo and..."

"Pruitt, no. She has to know. You can't keep this from her. It would destroy her." Sullivan was pretty worked up now. He expected quite a lot of things when Pruitt said Andy's year would get worse but he definitely didn't see this coming.

"You think right now she can take such news?" Pruitt asked back, equally affected by the conversation. "I didn't want her to know and that's why I drove to San Diego and asked Tanner to come back so she wouldn't have to face this alone." Pruitt said angrily, feeling like crap. Sullivan looked at him and didn't believe him.

"He came back because of her. Because you asked him to."

"Yes. And got shot the first day he was back here, trying to protect her from getting shot by a three year old boy." Pruitt said and felt something heavy painfully squeeze his chest. He opened himself another beer and decided to come out clean completely. He needed some answers though.

"Will you be there for her, Robert?" He asked Sullivan.

"Pruitt..." Sullivan felt trapped suddenly. What was he supposed to say now to a man who would die soon?

"Look, son, you love my daughter, don't you?" Pruitt asked and he sounded more like a caring father than a mad firefighter.

Sullivan got up and paced the room. This was suddenly a little too much on him. It all kept on running through his head and he knew that the consequences of what he would say would haunt him for the rest of his life no matter what.

"Yes." He said then. "Yes, I love your daughter." He answered and turned around from the window to face Pruitt. Truth time it seemed.

"How long?" Pruitt wanted to know.

"I don't know... but after we came back from L.A. we realized it was mutual." Sullivan confessed.

"You said nothing happened." Pruitt accused him.

"It didn't because instead of being with her I told her to go and get her head straight so she wouldn't ruin her chances at getting promoted." He told Pruitt and it was obviously a surprise for him.

Sullivan sighed then. Would he open this wound too? Would he tell him? Maybe it was a good idea and maybe not. But this day was full of choices that could go both well and bad.

"We almost died in L.A." He said and looked at Pruitt. "When the fire spread we got trapped. I tried to get us into one of the houses but the door wouldn't break. Andy realized the house had a pool so we stripped down from the gear and jumped in. We stayed underwater till the fire calmed down. I thought we would die."

"She never told me..." Pruitt said and Sullivan sat back down to the couch.

"When we came back I wanted to talk to her but instead we... kissed." He confessed bit embarrassed. Pruitt just smiled at him, he was no fool.

"Nothing, huh?" He asked then again, mocking him.

"Nothing because my leg was like on fire. The pain was sharp and I couldn't feel anything from my thigh down then, it went numb, I couldn't move it."

"What?!" Pruitt didn't see this coming at all.

"I panicked and told her to go. I hurt her. I rejected her because... I don't know. I just did."

"That's why there was the tension between you." Pruitt realized.

"Yes. As I said, I didn't sleep with your daughter." Sullivan told him.

"You just fell in love with her." Pruitt commented and Sullivan nodded sadly, taking another sip of his beer. They stayed silent then, both deep in thought.

"You could have been with her." Pruitt said then when he sorted it all out. "But you let her hate you so she wouldn't ruin her chances, so people wouldn't question her and her promotion."

Sullivan just nodded.

"I'm sorry, Robert."

"About what?"

"About the way I treated you." Pruitt said and Sully could see how difficult that had to be for him to say. "How's your leg now?"

"Not good. I need a surgery but if I tell the department, I'm done. I'll get a nice desk job and that's it."

"So what? You're just in pain?"

"Yeah, Koracick gave me some pain meds but it's not good." Sullivan admitted.

"Koracick is good. He's arrogant as hell but he's good." Pruitt told him.

"I know. But right now I just can't take a sick leave and hope I'm gonna be in those 50% successfully healed." Sullivan said and Pruitt could kind of understand him.

"Robert... Did you tell Andy?" Pruitt asked then.

"I guess we both have our secrets." Sullivan said instead. "And now she thinks I changed my mind, she thinks I no longer care and she thinks I betrayed her and promoted Bishop instead of her." Sullivan said, feeling a bit sorry for himself.

"She'll need you."

"I don't know what you want me to do, Pruitt." Sullivan told him and truly felt lost in the situation.

"I can give you the same advice I gave Ryan."

"That is?"

"Always tell the girl you love her, son." Pruitt said and Sullivan just leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He was so screwed.

"She'll forgive you someday. And she'll need you once I'm gone."

"She hates me."

"She loves you, Robert. I think for the first time in her life she's truly in love and it's with you." Pruitt said and chuckled.

"She deserves better."

"She deserves someone to see her for what she really is. And you can do that." Pruitt argued back.

"Pruitt..."

"Let's make a deal, Robert. I tell her about my cancer and you do something about your leg."

"I can't."

"You have to. She's gonna need you." Pruitt said and as he saw the other man struggle he was sure that this time he made the right call.

"I don't know if I can do this."

"Why not?"

"Because I haven't loved anyone since I lost Claire. And I'm scared." He admitted. Pruitt reached out and gave Sullivan another beer. He couldn't say anything to that. They stayed silent, together on that couch, drinking beer and both thinking about the one woman they both loved and cared about.


	2. Chapter 2

_I really didn't want to continue this story but upon your reviews and PMs my head just wouldn't stop thinking and with the amazing usual brainstorming with **teres-i**…. eh here we go. Not sure about how many chapters I'll write or where this is going exactly but you know I'm a shipper all the way, right?_

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In the morning Sullivan came to 19 and almost entered the wrong office. Old habits die hard obviously. He knew that his promotion was the most logical step in his situation but he missed the old office where he could watch everyone come and go, be close to the reception and garage, where he could just ran out and join his people on calls.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? He couldn't be coming on calls with them now. He couldn't very well run out to the garage. He couldn't be there with them because that would put them in danger and he didn't want that at all. With a heavy sigh he walked to his new office. The Chief offered him office near his but Sullivan refused. It was a bit masochistic but he couldn't make himself leave that building. He remembered how Ripley told him that 19 was closest to his heart, even before he fell in love with Hughes. He loved 19 and the unique atmosphere it had. He felt good there and Sullivan did too. So he didn't leave even thought it would probably have been wiser for him.

He went to change, glad he could keep his locker there among others from the crew of 19. And as he got used to getting at least coffee with his people, he walked into the beanery to get some. He had already eaten in the morning so all he needed was coffee. Only Montgomery was there.

"Morning, Sir."

"Montgomery." Sullivan nodded at him with a polite smile. Going to the coffee pot he poured himself a cup and noticed how Montgomery nervously kept on glancing in his direction.

"Just spit it out, Montgomery." Sullivan said, turned to face him and waited. Montgomery got up and came closer to him.

"Sir it's about Herrera." Montgomery said. "I don't think she'll be coming in today."

"Well she asked for a day off so I'm not surprised." Sullivan replied.

"She did?"

"Yeah, she did. Yesterday before she left." Sullivan told him. "She still at your place?" He asked and noticed how Montgomery looked relieved then. "Gibson told me." He clarified.

"Yes, she was asleep in the morning and I didn't want to wake her."

"Good. She needs to get some sleep." Sullivan said and with a small nod he left speechless Montgomery standing in the beanery.

When he woke up in the morning he had to remind himself where he was. When he wanted to leave Pruitt's place the older man told him no.

_"If you think you're driving…" Pruitt warned him._

_"No, I'll walk or take a taxi." Sullivan tried to argue._

_"Well, this isn't the most comfortable couch in the world but it will do for tonight. I'll get you a pillow and blanket." Pruitt told him and left the living room, not giving Sullivan room to argue. It was true that they had quite a lot to drink and he was tired as hell, both mentally and physically but he didn't really think he would sleep on Captain Herrera's couch._

_When Pruitt came back he put a blanket and a spare pillow on the couch and also handed Sullivan a towel._

_"Think you can find a way to the bathroom?" Pruitt asked him and Sullivan just chuckled._

_"Yes, Sir." He said and Pruitt smile at him._

_"Good night."_

_"Night."_

_And Pruitt left. Sullivan waited till Pruitt was done in the bathroom and went there himself. It was so strange to be there but after the kind of talk they had through the evening he would accept everything._

Not only that now he knew Pruitt's secret, he also knew his. And not just about his medical condition but also about his feelings for Andy. Pruitt was truly shaken from what happened to Tanner and Sullivan could tell it changed the man. He saw things differently. Sullivan was surprised when Pruitt told him about his condition and about the guilt he felt over Tanner's death but he was even more surprised when he asked him to keep an eye on Andy, to look out for her and be there for her.

And there was a part of him that felt both amazing and horrible when Pruitt told him he thought Andy loved him too. Well Sullivan kind of knew that. She told him, she said she had fallen in love with him. She tried to give him all the options and should his leg be okay he would jump right in, ask for transfer and be with her. But he knew he couldn't.

It took him a long time to set it straight in his head. It was so difficult to live knowing he would cause her pain, he would hurt her and make her feel betrayed. But he really believed it was for her own good. And now, trying to sleep on her father's couch he had to admit that he was an idiot. Under different circumstances he would have put her name in for the promotion. And it was not a favor. He believed it should have been her. Or Gibson but as he didn't want it…

He was worried about her and now knowing how hard her life would be he had to admit that he was tempted to say screw it and just go to her, beg for forgiveness and try to explain everything. Not that it would make much difference. She was stubborn and right now she was hurting so much it made her numb to everything. She was in a very dark place and even thought he wanted to follow her there and drag her back to a better one, he knew he couldn't.

He didn't get much sleep that night and was up very early in the morning so he at least made breakfast. Pruitt was surprised to see him up so early and even more to see the breakfast ready. They ate in silence, everything that was there to be said had already been said the night before. After breakfast Sullivan left and Pruitt thought back to everything they talked about.

He was surprised to hear Sullivan admit that he was scared of his feelings for Andy. He was so wrong about that man. But he was not wrong when he told Ripley he would be the best to replace him as Captain of 19. The team needed him and he needed the team. He knew it and hoped it would work out. And it did. True, he didn't think that Sullivan and his daughter would develop this kind of bond though. It was a surprise to him.

When he thought they just had a fling and now couldn't work together, he was mad and he said some really bad things to both of them. He still had to apologize to Andy. Thinking her Captain took advantage of her was driving him crazy, especially given the fact that he had brought him in. But now he knew that things weren't so black and white as he thought.

Sullivan was a very private man and despite that he tried to open up to the crew of 19. Pruitt knew he would join them for food occasionally now, he knew he tried to go for drinks with them from time to time, he knew he joined them on calls instead of hiding in his office. He knew how he supported Warren and how he helped to get Montgomery out of jail. He saw the lengths he went into to help Hughes after Ripley died. And thinking back he also saw the way he was looking at Andrea.

It was kind of funny to realize that a man like Sullivan was in love like a teenager. He fell for Andrea and it caught him off guard. And hear him admit that it was for the first time ever since losing his wife caught Pruitt off guard. He could understand him so well it was scary. Truth, he was not the type of man he would pick for Andrea but if he stopped and tried to look at it objectively he could tell those two were good for each other. They challenged each other and made each other better, stronger and also more vulnerable but in a good way.

He should be mad at Sullivan for how he hurt his little girl but knowing his reasons and all the circumstances he really couldn't. That man was willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of woman he loved and Pruitt knew how rare that was. He was also an idiot not to treat his leg and risk everything because of it but honestly? Being in his shoes he doubted he would tell anyone and have the surgery. No, he would try to minimize the damage and keep it quiet.

Well one thing was for sure. He had to make it right with his daughter. Sullivan was right about her in this. She would want to know, she needed to know, she needed the time with her dad and she needed to hear it from him. So his plan for this day was pretty clear. He would give her time to catch up on some sleep at Montgomery's place and then he would call and take her out and spend some time with her. Hopefully she'd let him apologize at least.

When Sullivan told him she was staying with Montgomery he was grateful. He knew there was some tension and friction between her and Bishop so… well Montgomery was a good firefighter and he had a gentle soul. So he knew he would take care of Andrea as far as she would let him.

Back at the station Sullivan told them about recommending Bishop for the promotion. Their looks told him too much about their opinion. They were surprised. So the damage to Andy's reputation had already been done. They all thought he would promote her and surely not just from professional reasons. Damn the rumors! So now maybe they would cease when there was Bishop to be promoted instead of Andy. Nobody had to know that he was ready to promote her.

Dixon came after lunch to confirm that it had been approved. So Sullivan gave Bishop her knew insignia and told her he would watch her closely. He also told her that should she need anything, he'd be there. He just hoped she would take that information and put it into good use. She wasn't his first choice but as he had said months ago, she had potential. He thought about promoting her at line-up but knowing the crew had their reservation about this he did it in his office, just the two of them. The team already knew it would happen so it was the lesser evil for the crew.

Maya still had to take some tests and lectures but those were only formalities.

Sullivan watched the crew go when they were called to a car crash and was grateful for the solitude. He had a lot to think about and it was nothing pretty.

Andy woke up late. It was already past lunch-time. She was confused till she realized she was at Montgomery's place. It slowly came back to her. Sullivan promoted Maya. And she felt so drained she just wanted to sleep. Montgomery took her to his place and she obviously had fallen asleep. Getting up she found a note from him on the fridge and a spare key.

Sitting down on the couch she didn't know what to do. Everything just fell apart and she simply didn't know what to do. Nothing felt right and she was lost. Taking Travis' advice she took a shower, he was sweet to tell her to make herself at home if she needed it. She opted for coffee and toast as she didn't feel all that well. It wasn't much but she couldn't really eat more.

Thinking back to her previous day she wasn't sure about what exactly happened. Ryan was dead. She snapped at her Captain, well Battalion Chief and he let it slip and allowed her to work. She heard from Jack that Maya got her head chewed off because of letting her go on that call. One part of her thought that maybe Sullivan cared about her and was worried but she silenced it. She didn't need any false hopes.

Coming back to the Station she felt exhausted by everything that happened. Ryan's face kept on coming back to her as he said he loved her. It kept on coming back. They talked about Sullivan and she had no idea Ryan … he came back for her, because of her. He came back to be with her and instead of that he died knowing she loved someone else, someone who pushed her away and she still loved him. He pushed her out of the way and got shot. He died in front of her, he died and she had his blood all over hands and clothes. He died. He just died. She buried him and her soul with him. She was empty. She didn't realize how much she missed him till he was back and they had that one day together and that was it. It was so cruel and so unfair!

She thought she would cry more but it seemed there were no tears left. She was so empty, so dull. She was running on autopilot and had no idea about how to function better. She just couldn't. He died.

Finding her phone she turned on the sound but forgot all about it so when it started to ring she got startled. She checked the caller ID and it was her father. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him but answered the call anyway.

"Hi dad." She said.

"Andrea." He replied and didn't give her a chance to hang up on him – which he couldn't and wouldn't hold against her after the way he treated her the past weeks. "Do you have any plans for the evening?" He asked her.

"What?"

"Well I was thinking we could spend some time together, take a walk, have dinner and Alejandro's or something. What do you think?" He tried.

"I don't know dad I'm…."

"I know. Off duty today so you can find time for your old father, right?" He said and knew it was a low blow. He heard her sigh.

"All right, okay." She agreed, still hesitating.

Pruitt told her when and where to meet him and she promised she would be there. She was actually glad she took her travel bag along yesterday as she had spare clothes in there and didn't have to go home. She couldn't walk past that police line, she couldn't face the damn door. Everything would rush back and she didn't have the strength to fight it.

She had a nice quiet time at Montgomery's. She left him a note and left when it was time to meet her dad. She didn't know what he wanted to talk about but she didn't care anymore. He could be mean, he could yell, he could call her names. She would just take it and accept it. What else was there to be done? Sullivan made his choice. She was a fool to think he actually cared about her. And now he promoted Maya, he silenced all those loud voices gossiping about her sleeping her way up.

Andy walked to the park her father mentioned and he arrived right after her. Not giving her a chance to retreat he kissed her cheek and greeted her warmly.

"Hi dad." She said surprised a bit.

Pruitt knew it would be difficult to find his way back to his daughter but he was determined to try. Maybe he would succeed. And maybe it would give Sullivan one more reason to do something about his leg. He had to be careful not to break his trust. He had a secret to keep for now and he would.

"So?" Andy asked him as she didn't know what to do.

"Walk with me." He said and without waiting for her permission, he pulled her arm through his so she was walking closely next to him.

"Dad, what's going on?" She wanted to know as she didn't like this. It was too suspicious.

"I just thought a nice walk could do us both some good." Pruitt told her.

"Okay…" Andy agreed, unsure about where this was going. "Except we don't go for casual walks anymore, remember?" She sounded a bit hurt but it passed too quickly.

"And I'm sorry about that." Pruitt said. "Te extraňo hija." Pruitt said then and she stayed silent. So they just kept on walking slowly as he was gathering up the courage to tell her what he needed her to know. He also took the time to watch her closely.

She buried it all deep and was running on empty. No matter if she was 9 or 29, she was still the lost girl who had her world turned upside down.

"I wanted to apologize." Pruitt said then carefully.

"What for?" Andy wanted to know.

"The way I treated you."

"You mean when you told me I crap where I eat?" She asked and truly hated that phrase. Especially as they made fun of it with Ryan. It hurt even more than it did before.

"Yes, for that too." Pruit answered and Andy was so shocked she stopped walking. There was a bench nearby so Pruitt took her there and made her sit down.

"I should have believed you." He told her and Andy didn't know what to say.

"But you didn't."She replied.

"No. No, I didn't. And I am sorry, Andrea. I am sorry about what I said and I am sorry I didn't believe your word." He tried to approach it as best as he could knowing his stubborn daughter wouldn't make it easy for him.

"So now you believe me?"

"I believe you." He assured her and thought it would be the end of discussion but he was wrong.

"Why? What changed?" She wanted to know.

"I had time to think about it."

"Dad." She warned him.

"I talked to Sullivan also." He admitted and she couldn't believe it.

"What did you do, dad?" Andy asked all worried. So maybe there was more to Maya's promotion. Maybe her dad pissed her commanding officer off.

"Nothing, I just talked to him."

"So you believe him but not me?" Andy asked and that question hurt even without having an answer.

"No, nothing like that. I just had time to think and I wanted to apologize."

"Dad…" Andy warned him again.

"Can you please forgive me, Andrea?" He asked then and despite her best efforts she nodded yes after a moment.

"I can." She said and Pruitt visibly relaxed. "In time." She added.

"I can live with that." He told her and knew the hardest part was lying ahead of him.

"I need to tell you something." Pruitt said then and Andy was worried. What news did he have?

"I'm listening." She answered.

"I… I've got cancer, Andrea." Pruitt said softly and Andy seemed confused. "It's already spread and I… I'm dying, hija." Pruitt added and Andy just kept on watching him. She didn't react at all.

"No." Andy refused to accept it. "No, you're not." She argued back.

"I am. I have about six months, maybe a year." He said. She looked devastated.

"What do you mean.?"

"I mean I'm on paid meds and under all the control from Grey Sloan."

"What about chemo?" Andy asked and that was the moment Pruitt was afraid of. Well, time to be brave.

"I'm not getting a chemo." He said and watched her for reaction. Nothing. Well, there was that. "It just makes me sicker."

"Could it help?" Andy asked, her voice breaking but there were no tears in her eyes.

"It could slow it down a bit but there are no guarantees."

"Dad…" She said sadly, worriedly.

And Pruitt the only thing that made sense. He hugged her close to him and held her as this time she let him and after couple of long agonizing moments she hugged him back.


	3. Chapter 3

_I had a terrible day… couple of days… and I need a dose of Sully and__ his gentle caring loving handsome side. I need him. Sorry. I haven't seen the last episode but I can't really wait. Sorry this one is shorter, will do better next time ;-)_

* * *

Pruitt didn't know how much time had passed but he didn't care. He doubted that it made a difference to his daughter but it certainly made a difference for him that he could just sit there and have her close. They were silent and both deep in thought. He thought Andy would have many questions but she was silent. He didn't know what to think about it but as she was in her own personal hell the past days, well weeks maybe, he just wanted to give her time to react.

The sun was low on the horizon when Pruitt finally decided to break that heavy moment.

"Corazón?" He asked gently. Andy moved away from him a bit. He noticed her tired eyes but there were no tears. So he wasn't far from the truth. She was back where she was when she lost her mother. Without Tanner and after all the heartbreak from Sullivan she was losing herself. And he didn't help the matters much.

"Come on, let's eat." He suggested.

"You mentioned Alejandro's?"

"Yes, I did." He smiled at her.

"Did you make a reservation for us?" She asked.

"Nope but as I saved his restaurant from getting burnt down I think he'll do me a favor." He said jokingly and Andy just gave him disbelieving look.

"Or maybe because he's one of your closest friends." She reminded him.

"Or that." He agreed and they got up. Andy looped her arm through his and fell in step beside him.

"How's it going to be now?" Andy asked.

"You mean my treatment?"

"Yes, everything." She clarified. She needed information so she could get her head straight about it. She needed more information.

And so Pruitt told her about the diagnosis, he told her about the treatment he was getting, he told her about Dr. Bailey trying to persuade him into chemo. He told her all he could.

"So Ben knows."

"He knows." Pruitt admitted. "And gave me hard time about not telling you." He said and Andy gently smiled at him.

"You should have told me sooner."

"I know." He answered and leaned to the side so he could kiss her temple. She didn't say anything. They arrived to the restaurant and Alejandro, the owner, welcomed them happily. He found them a table and told them he would get them their favorite food. And so they ate together.

When Maya came back home, she hoped Andy would be back. Being at the Station without her was weird. Especially now. She was happy and satisfied with being named Captain but there was a small part of her that couldn't properly enjoy it because her best friend was hurting and not at home and wouldn't really talk to her. When she saw her at the catwalk she felt so guilty that it shocked her. She had nothing to feel guilty about and yet… she told Andy to talk to Sullivan because she honestly didn't know what to say.

"Andy? Are you here?" She called when she got home. She looked around and noticed couple of bags and boxes.

"Andy?" She called again and walked further in. Andy heard her and came from her room with a box full of books.

"Hey." She greeted her roommate.

"What's going on?" Maya asked.

"I'm moving out." Andy said and Maya looked like she just slapped her.

"What?" Maya was surprised about how much it hurt to hear Andy say that.

"I need to move out. I'm sorry." Andy answered.

"Andy…"

"I can't stay here, okay? I just can't."

"Because Sullivan promoted me instead of you?" Maya asked disbelievingly. Andy regarded her and something in her snapped.

"Sure, because that's the only thing you care about, huh?"

"That's not fair." Maya fought back.

"No, what's not fair is that you told everyone about me and him. It's not fair that you broke my trust. And it's not fair that you think he would promote me just because of… that doesn't matter."

Maya was speechless, she wanted to say something but she couldn't.

"He had his reasons to promote you and I respect it. But no, that's not the reason." Andy clarified. She put couple more books into the box and closed the lid. She wanted to walk back to her room to pack more of her things but Maya stopped her.

"So why?"

"Because I can't be here. Because he died next door. Because I have to walk past that apartment every time I go home or to work. I can't be here because I thought you were my friend but you changed and you doesn't care about who you hurt now." Andy was to her own surprise getting emotional but well she could get any emotional she wanted under the circumstances.

"I care about you." Maya said in defense. "You're my best friend."

"So be my friend." Andy replied and Maya didn't know what to say to that. She watched her friend pack her things. There was a knock at the door then. Maya answered it.

"Ben?"

"Hey, Bishop." He greeted and looked at Andy.

"You ready?"

"Yeah." Andy replied.

"Where are you going?" Maya asked, now feeling betrayed herself. She knew she screwed up, she was selfish and focused only on her own goals. But that was the way she was. She couldn't really be anyone else. She was used to being alone. She has never had a friend before. And now she was losing the only one who could truly understand her. And she just packed her things and was about to leave.

"I'll stay with my dad." Andy said. "He needs me now."

"I'll start with these. Take your time." Warren said and grabbed a travel bag and a box. He left to load them into his truck.

"I'll come back later for the rest, okay?" Andy asked Maya.

"If you need to stay with your dad now, I get it. But please, come back." Maya pleaded and didn't even know where this was coming from.

"I'll see you at the Station." Andy replied instead. Maya just watched her as she left. Sitting down on the couch she was so deep in thought she didn't react at all as Andy and Ben came back to grab more of her things. Andy came back again and wanted to give Maya the keys.

"Keep them."

"I'm sorry, Maya."

"I'm sorry too." Maya replied.

Andy stopped before her and hugged her. Bad things happened to them and between them but they still shared a bond that couldn't be easily erased. Andy still could hear Sullivan as he told her to hold onto her friendship with Maya, that it was important and unique and that they shouldn't waste it like he wasted his with Ripley. So she hoped they would find a way although she didn't see how right now.

As Ben drove Andy to Pruitt's place he looked concerned.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. He asked me not to…" He tried to apologize.

"It's okay, I understand."

"I know it's a stupid thing to ask but how are you holding up?" Ben asked her and she knew he was truly concerned.

"I honestly don't know." She replied and he chuckled. At least she wasn't trying to lie. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem."

"You're the only one who knows and he didn't want me to tell others."

"You think he'll tell them himself?"

"He better should." Andy said resolutely and Warren grinned at her. They arrived to her father's place and he helped her to unload her things. Pruitt didn't seem to be too happy about having her there but he gave up. There was no point in trying to argue with her.

"See? I told you." Pruitt told Warren. "Now I'm having a babysitter." He said half-jokingly. Andy shot him a look and Warren smiled. Maybe this will be beneficial for both Andy and Pruitt. Maybe they could and would help each other through their pain.

"Well if you need to go out for a beer, just call me, Sir." Warren suggested.

"Ben!" Andy reprimanded her.

"See? No fun." Pruitt told Warren and he left with a smile. Yeah, those two definitely needed each other.

Andy was moving and breathing on autopilot. She cleaned up and unpacked, she made her bed, she went grocery shopping and she cooked dinner. She insisted on knowing all about her father's medication and he very reluctantly showed her the chart. He wasn't happy about it but he could say it made her feel better, she was at least a bit in control and she needed it to function better. And so he let her. He would do anything at that point. Anything.

But he was glad for Warren's offer because at some point his daughter would certainly drive him crazy and he could use a beer for sure!


	4. Chapter 4

_Everyone wants to see Sully jealous of Jack huh? Well not in this story – but you know me and how my mind works… so after the weekend I might just happen to write another story. And yeah, I have couple ideas after watching the last episode that I just need to put them on paper. You interested?_

_I'm writing this, it's the promised second half of third chapter and I think it will be the end. There was supposed to be just one anyway. It gets all mixed up in my head now with the new ideas. So hopefully I am on the right track and you'll be happy with the result. Again a bit shorter chapter but as I said, was supposed to be the second half of third chapter._

* * *

Sullivan noticed the tension between Bishop and Herrera was getting worse. He knew he would have to do something but he didn't really want to. It was up to Bishop now. But he felt guilty because it was him who put her into that position. He was the one to name her Captain even though he didn't believe it was the right decision to make. But how the hell was he supposed to fix this? He could only hope that with her reputation and background she'd handle it on her own.

He was still thinking about what Pruitt Herrera told him. Not about always telling the girl but about not being wise to keep such secret from Andy. But what would change? What could change? Nothing. So where was the point in adding this to her list of worries? Why should he hurt her more? It was easier to let her hate him, to let her be too formal and detached that it was breaking him every single time all over again and again. But he knew it was for the better. Or so he hoped.

He also had to think about what Koracick told him. But with Dixon being the new Chief he truly didn't want to step down. He would name some idiot into his place and that would be the end of everything. He really hated that man and just the idea of more policemen running the fire department? That was making him sick.

His phone beeped and he opened message from Pruitt. It only said "your turn" so he had a hard time figuring out what it meant. But then he got it. Pruitt told Andy about the cancer. And now it was up to him to tell her about his leg. Except for the fact that he couldn't do it. He had nothing to offer her so he shouldn't ruin her chances at better life with someone … younger and less damaged.

He even visited his wife's grave the other day as he needed to feel her presence again, needed to talk to her, to be close to her, at least like this. And while he was at the graveyard he also visited Ripley. And there he told his best friend about everything. To his surprise he even cried, he cried in pain and despair, he needed to clean his soul and apparently tears were the way.

He got startled when Hughes appeared behind him. He tried to wipe his eyes dry.

"You don't have to do that. I cry a lot here too." She told him. He got up without a word and let her put fresh flowers on the grave. He knew Hughes had a boyfriend now but it seemed Lucas still had a firm place in her heart.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, Sir." She told him when she got up.

"It's okay. I just…"

"Needed to talk?" She offered.

"Yeah, kind of. Now I feel silly. Like a fool."

"Well you should feel like a fool if you think the only person you can talk to is your dead best friend." She told him and he chuckled. Leave it to Hughes. She would always nail it.

"That's not it, I just needed to tell him this." He said and she tried to understand him. She couldn't though.

"Something only he would understand?" She asked then softly as they fell into step next to each other and walked out slowly.

"Yes. And he would have a good laugh about it." He told her openly and she smiled back at him.

"Can I help?" Vic asked him and he really didn't know if she could.

"How do you tell someone something very serious?" He started and surprised both himself and Vic by actually answering the question. "You know you have to tell them but you also know it's better if you don't because it would hurt them."

"I wish I knew…. I guess there's no real way to do this without hurting people."

"That's what I thought."

"But it's better to tell them if you think they deserve to know. It's easier to deal with things when you know what you're facing." She told him and he had to admit that it was pretty deep for someone like her and that it was actually truth.

"And if they're already mad?"

"For a valid reason?"

"Oh yeah, very valid." He clarified and looked at Vic again. She shrugged.

"So apologize first. Honestly. Don't hold back and just apologize. And then tell them." Vic said and he nodded after a moment.

"Apologize first."

"Yes. It never hurts to apologize if you hurt someone." She told him and he thanked her.

"That's actually really helpful, thanks, Hughes." He said and she just smiled.

"I'm not Lucas but well…" She smiled back and then left him. And so he knew what he had to do. He had to apologize. And spill the beans. Andy needed to know. He just wasn't sure if a simple apology will do. He was afraid that it most certainly wouldn't. Not after everything that has been said. Not after what he had done.

And now watching his phone he was back at the beginning. How the hell should he tell her after everything she's been put through already? Did he really have to? Damned.

Andy seemed to be a bit better although he noticed how others never stopped watching over her. They truly cared about her. Despite the drift their … feelings caused, they still cared. They had her back. They were a team. His team. Well, they used to be his team. He hated that. He wished he could have kept his Captain's desk, truly. But with his leg? No, this was better. Safer. He knew that. But he still hated it.

The next morning Sullivan met the team at beanery and was glad they could actually talk to him like they used to before he promoted Bishop. She didn't come to eat with them. She stayed in her office. He listened to his people and was proud of them so much he couldn't even describe it. They came back from everything stronger than before. And he knew he played a part in that. He was so happy.

He spared a glance at Andy and had to say she looked … weird. Like she wasn't really there. She was talking, communicating, she was there and had her breakfast but her eyes were so empty, so dark that it scared him. He wanted to help her but didn't know how. And didn't know if he should even attempt to help her. But if there was one thing this team taught him, it was that they stick together and help each other out. No matter what.

The dispatch called them to a fire and so he got left alone in the beanery. It sucked. Herrera and Gibson were on Aid Car and they stayed at the Station but this just was not the place to talk to her. And besides he still wasn't sure about it.

He got up and walked to the sink to wash his cup and plate. And his leg gave out again. The pain was so sharp that it nearly blinded him. He dropped the plate and managed to knock down a glass that was set beside the sink. It all fell down to the tiled ground with loud noise. It got broken into pieces. He tried to lean on the counter, he was trying to breathe through the pain and to focus on letting the pain go. And it actually worked. For a moment.

Before he managed to stand up properly and do something about the mess he created in the beanery, his leg gave out again. And this time he collapsed to the ground. As he was trying to break the fall, he cut his palm on some of the shard and managed to land onto the rest, effectively cutting his uniform – and to his dismay also his leg. He yelled in pain, he hit the cabinet and the floor and he was breathing hard and fast. He so didn't need this.

Then he heard the door and cursed.

"Sir? Everything okay?" Andy asked. Of course it had to be her to find him bleeding, yelling and with non-functional leg on the floor in the middle of all that mess. When she noticed him everything went aside. He could see she switched to her firefighter / EMT mode.

"Sir!" She called and moved closer.

"Careful. I broke a glass. And a plate." He said and she watched carefully where she stepped. "Just don't mind me. You can go. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, when hell freezes over." She said and when she looked at him she added "sir". That made him roll his eyes. "What happened?"

"Nothing." He didn't want her to know!

"All right." She said, walked over to the first aid kit and carefully knelt down next to Sullivan. She took scissors and looked at him questioningly. "Do I need to cut your trousers or will you cooperate?" She asked, pissed.

"Just help me to stand, okay?" He asked and after a moment she agreed. And so she helped him to stand up. He took the counter for support and Andy used that time to check his wounds. Well, it wasn't easy that was for sure.

"Can you stand still for a moment?"

"Sure. Do what you must." He said and braced himself. Andy managed to pull out all the glass and ceramic shards. She treated his wounds and noticed the lack of response from him.

"It doesn't hurt?" She asked. He didn't reply at first. She finished her job on the backside of his leg. She helped him to sit down and couldn't miss the fact that he's been favoring the other leg.

"Rober?" She asked again as he gave her no response.

"I can treat my hand myself." He said and she just gave him one of those if-looks-could-kill looks.

"Sure." She said but sat down across him, took his hand and started treating the wounds. He didn't pull away which made it difficult for both of them. And that was something he hated.

"No, it doesn't." He said then and she didn't understand. So he tried to explain better. "It doesn't hurt at all for some time. Then it comes back with sharp pain. It blinds me."

"What are you talking about?"

"About my leg, Andy. It's complex regional pain syndrome." He said and Andy stopped what she was doing. She kept his hand in hers and just watched him, confused. This couldn't be happening.

"I felt it for the first time after we came back from L.A." He came out clean and was proud of how sure his voice sounded even though he felt sick and scared like a little kid.

"When after L.A.?" Andy asked but she had a pretty good idea.

"When…. " he started but needed a moment. "When you went to lock the door."

"Why didn't you say something?" She asked quietly. Her brain was still trying to catch up.

"I panicked."

"So you pushed me away and ignored me for weeks. That seemed like a better idea to you?" she asked, mad now. But he was glad. He could deal with mad.

"Yes. I had physical therapy and tests and treatments. I didn't want you to be part of that."

"Why not?" Andy wanted to understand.

"Because! Because I'm old and grumpy and broken. And I didn't want anyone to see me like that." He tried to tell her. She let go of his hand and got up from the chair.

"So instead of trusting me you decided to keep me in the dark and break my heart." Andy said and it caught him off guard. He never expected her to go straight to the jugular but there she was.

"Andy…"

"All those things you said to me. Were any of them true?" She asked after a moment, daring to look into his beautiful eyes.

"I never lied to you." He said.

"So tell me. Tell me now." Andy prompted and he felt the blow to his chest. But he knew he owed it to her. Taking a deep breath he decided to bite the bullet.

"I do care about you. That was true. I did fall in love with you. Also true. I really thought that being with me would ruin your career. Also true. And I was afraid it would ruin mine."

"Also true?" Andy mocked him.

"I needed the promotion so I wouldn't be in the field so often so my leg could heal." Sullivan tried to explain.

"You should have told me." She said.

"I know. But I didn't want to …"

"You didn't want what?"

"I didn't want you to ruin your life." He told her and she had to fight back tears.

"I can make this decision myself." She argued back.

"I know. And I am sorry." He said but she just nodded and turned around to leave the beanery. Sully knew he had to say something more so it would get through to her.

"Andy."

"That's not enough." She answered sadly.

"Forgive me, please. I never should have pushed you away." He tried and she stopped at the door, it was the truth and he had nothing to lose. "It scares me how I feel about you. It also keeps me going. I… I love you." He confessed and Andy turned around to look at him. Her features were hard and her eyes were shiny.

"And I believe you. But could have made a decision and be with me. And you told me to take a week off, remember?" She asked and he nodded.

"I was this close to do something stupid." He said and Andy didn't get the point, again. She was really tired.

"I wanted to be with you and I still do. And I also still think you would do better with someone else." He confessed and Andy blinked away tears.

"Why can't you let me decided that, huh? I told you already I wanted to be with you. But you picked your career over me, over us. So you don't get to tell me how you want to be with me." Andy said, upset. Really upset. That man would drive her crazy.

"I need a surgery." He said out of the blue. "And if I tell the department they'll make sure I retire. And if I don't, well… " He left that sentence open. "I didn't want to drag you into this. I wanted you to be the Captain and I wanted you to have everything cleared up as you start." He said, still trying to explain it to her. But it felt like he was just moving in circles.

"I can't do this now." Andy said and wanted to leave. Sully's leg was okay again so with couple steps he was right beside her. Touching her arm she spun around angrily. He backed away but noticed how she stopped.

"I'm old and damaged. I have a lot of baggage. And you're young, smart, kind and beautiful and you deserve better."

"Robert…"

"But I want to be with you." He said and Andy finally cried some tears. Sullivan took a deep breath.

"I love you." He said and Andy's eyes shot up and she searched his face for any kind of clues if he was being serious or not. "Forgive me, please." He pleaded and as she didn't seem to be in rage or trying to rip his arm off, he slowly moved his palm to her cheek and she sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get your forgiveness, Andy." He said and she just nodded.

"Say it again." She asked and he was confused a bit. But then he realized what she meant.

"I love you." He said and she smiled into his palm. He leaned in for a gently kiss and she let him. She melted into his arms and he hugged her close to him. Things weren't solved or forgotten or forgiven but right now only she mattered and she was there, with him, and she felt like she belonged there, right into that spot. Looking up she kissed him briefly and he knew he would have to thank Pruitt.

Maybe things will go wrong but right now she was perfectly happy and judging by the smile, so was he.


End file.
